Friday, February 20, 2009

Friday Laziness: Battlestar Galactica Spoiler Alert

SPOILER ALERT: I will be discussing in this post all of the episodes of BSG that have been released so far (up to last Friday's "No Exit"). If you have not watched the show, or are not caught up, stop reading now. I will NOT be discussing any spoilers of unaired episodes, as I actually don't know any.

Battlestar is now in it's final 4 episodes. The most epic and dramatic journey ever on television (YEAH I SAID IT) is coming to an end. I want to make my predictions publicly now, so I can gloat/hang my head in shame accordingly.

Here's what I think are the foregone conclusions. I'm 99% confident of these:

  1. At the end many of the characters will still be alive. The show will NOT end with everyone dead.
  2. In some manner, both humans and Cylons will continue to exist. One will not succeed in wiping out the other.
  3. There will be a final confrontation between John Cavil's "evil" Cylon fleet and the Colonial/rebel Cylon fleet.
Here are things I think are true, but I'm not too confident on:
  1. As the entire internet thinks: Daniel is Starbuck's father.
  2. As the entire internet thinks: The Colony is not a planet, but the sub-luminal ship the FF used to get from Earth to the colonies.
  1. Daniel is still alive on The Colony
  2. Someone we still don't know about has been orchestrating some events, such as activating the FF and the "angels"/"head chip people"

  1. Starbuck, Baltar, Lee, and the Agathon family (Helo, Sharon, and Hera) are still alive when the series ends.
  2. Pregnant Six and her baby die before the finale.
  3. Adama, Tory, Tyrol, and Cavill die in the finale (though it is possible at that point Tory and Tyrol will have access to ressurrection)
  4. Notice I didn't say whether Rosslyn would be alive or dead when the show ends.
  5. What I really want to see is Tory and Tyrol get their memories restored. Tory's memories revive her love for Tyrol, and she confesses to killing Cally, which causes a great deal of internal conflict for Tyrol, who now again feels his love for Tory. /headspin

And my overarching theory:

Daniel Prime is alive on The Colony (which the Final Five fitted with a jump drive while developing the 8 skinjobs). He has been following the fleet the entire time (most likely via some ability to track Starbuck) and orchestrating events where he could to stymie his brother, with the goal of ultimately driving events to cause John Cavil's destruction/failure and carry out his mother's dream of "breaking the cycle" of human/cylon violence. He intends to break the cycle by replacing both races with a human/cylon hybrid race that follows the One True God.

Daniel on The Colony is responsible for the "head chip people" (the "head Six" that constantly haunts Baltar, etc.)* and a number of other unexplained events that guided/saved the Fleet. He "activated" the FF with All Along the Watchtower, and he is fully responsible for what's going on with Starbuck and her Viper. He's been sort of a benevolent secret presence the entire time, just has Cavil has secretly been a malevolent presence behind the scenes.

Finale plot prediction:

My original thought was that the show would end with The Colony leading everyone (our Fleet and Cavil's) to a new inhabitable planet, and then everyone who survived the confrontation would crashland or otherwise become stranded on this planet together. Then the show leaves our characters stranded on the planet to forge a new human/cylon hybrid society together. The Galactica is destroyed during this battle and Admiral Adama goes down with it. He has no place in a peaceful society, and he really has checked-out on the possibilities of his own happiness or the value of his own life. Right now he is living only to make sure everyone else is taken care of. Once that burden is gone, he would collapse anyway.

But recent developments, particularly the restructuring of the Quorum to be ship-based and the integration of Cylon living metal into the frame of the Galactica makes me think that the writers are planning more long-term. Instead of finding a new home planet, the Human/Rebel Cylon fleet will destroy the "evil" Cylons in a final battle, then be left to wander the universe for the indefinite future in their now-immortal fleet (thanks to the living ship materials), building the hybrid race and society for presumably thousands of years into the future until they find a new planet.

*The "angels" that appeared to the FF back on Earth to warn them of the apocalypse were either unrelated or were generated by The Colony (I'm assuming The Colony was the original ship that brought the 13th Tribe from Kobol to Earth, not some construct of the FF).

We have now established that I am a giant geek. Carry on.


Ixobelle said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ixobelle said...


I honestly don't care what happens at this point as long as roslyn does a horrible death.

Her character is the biggest thorn in the side of this entire series (which I absolutely love to death). The way she flip flops on crap just makes me want to punch kittens. I understand perhaps that's the point, to be frustrated with her (at which point you say "so she's playing her role awesomely!"), but I really just feel like the writers couldn't decide what to do with her.

On one hand she tries to be this tough-guy anti-cylon whatever, and then she's also this cancer patient hippie religious figure interpreting the prophecies of aptihia. then, when they find earth is a radiated husk, she burns her bible, just abandons the quorum in their greatest hour of need ("I think i deserve to live life a little, and i'm choosing to do so RIGHT THIS INSTANT"), and goes jogging.

Caprica at least shoots her the fuck down (verbally) in the hallway when she's fumbling around about the baby in caprica's womb.

Seriously, after every sentence she says, i basically whisper "okaythankshurryupanddienowplease" to myself.

As far as "most legendary series EVAR", I dunno... I"m kinda tied here. I think as a pure drama, BSG has it hands down. The fact that that people will only see it as a 'space show', but those who watch it know knocks you down and kicks you in the stomach over and over about the human aspects of the characters (AND OH SHIT YOU MEAN THAT ONES NOT EVEN A HUMAN?!) makes it one of the best .... let's say... 3 shows EVAR. But while my wife caught me snuffling (THERE'S SOMETHING IN MY EYE, OKAY?) over certain scenes with Boomer/Athena, I still think the 'best overall package' title goes to Lost. I crap my pants every episode of lost, and when people are like "yeah.. lost was... interesting... and then i just didn't get it anymore after a few episodes, and kinda stopped watching..." I nod knowingly and weep for their soul.

Hatch said...

I love Lost as well, but I'm going to fall on the BSG side of this one. I have two main issues with Lost that I don't have with BSG:

1) They sort of lost their way and meandered a bit in seasons 2 and 3.

2) There are characters in Lost that I hate as characters (in the way you hate Rosslyn, only I'd daresay moreso). Charlie is the most annoying abomination to hit TV since Buffy's little sister. Kate's character would be vastly improved by replacing her with a volleyball a la Castaway's Wilson.

With BSG, even though I didn't like some characters, I found that they almost always made sense. They were interesting and dramatic. I disliked them because of their character flaws, not because they were crappily crafted.

With Lost, characters keep making choices that don't make sense (they aren't what that character would do for realz). I can't think of examples off the top of my head, but I end up saying "[that character] wouldn't do that" in almost any episode. And if the ONLY DOCTOR ON THE ISLAND, a SURGEON is allowed to be the first one who runs directly headfirst into danger and punches things with his SURGEON HANDS one more time, I'm just going to turn the thing off. If I were the other Losties, I'd tie that bitch up in a tent and only untie him when I've broken/lacerated something.

Aside from character issues, Lost is a great overall package. I love the show, and it pulls off the hard task of beating BSG for number of "oh shit!" moments. I'd still give overall package to BSG because it seems to me that almost any ep of BSG can stand on it's own as a moving/interesting piece of drama, while a lot of Lost episodes lose drama in service of the overarching mystery/plot. Basically, Lost hinges too much on it's (inevitably disappointing) ending and the explanation of it all, while BSG still would have worked if the show ended without them ever finding earth or the Final Five, because the show was about what was happening and the lengths they were pushing the characters, rather than solving some mind-blowing mystery.

Love em both though. Definitely the 2 best dramas on tv right now, if not ever.

Ixobelle said...