Friday, October 31, 2008

Friday Laziness = Top 5 List (vol 1)

You know why I grew up liking video games? It had nothing to do with lethargy or shyness (I spent most of my childhood riding bikes with friends), it was because, at a young age, I loved things that were Fucking Metal. I was the child who played air guitar to his dad's Led Zeppelin records when I'd had to much sugar, and I was the also the child that routinely combined my medeival and outer space legos into new, warped creations, because a spaceship covered in swords piloted by a blaster-weilding cyborg knight was more metal than a plain old spaceship.

So because on Fridays I am way too lazy to post anything that's actually constructive, I'd like to usher you into the weekends instead with a top 5 lists of why x awesome old-school video game was fucking metal.

We begin with what very well may be the most fucking metal series ever to grace consoles: Mega Man.

I mean, look at the box art for Mega Man 9. It's not enough that Dr. Wily is apparently now a cyborg who has reduced the earth to a smoking, post-apocolyptic wasteland. It's not enough that Mega Man is apparently being pursued by a giant robot with buzzsaws for hands. He's got a giant cannon for a hand, and what do you think he uses his other hand to hold?

Another gun.

Fuck yes.


Top 5 reasons (of MANY) that Mega Man is fucking metal:

5) He's made of metal. L. O. L.

4) His real name is Rock. His sister's name is Roll. Get it?

3) This is a guy who has a gun for a hand. He's not fucking around.

2) The games had a feeling of solitary heroism to them. It was just you, a single robot, against an army of evil themed robots and wave after wave of their minions and traps. You played a rugged individualist standing up against the corrupt system with the odds stacked high against you. And you would have to conquer them alone.

1) The soundtrack. I can still remember many of the levels' tunes, many of which pumped intense techno beats accompanied by epic guitar licks. I would seriously listen to a CD of these things. Every time someone on the internet does a remix or instrumental version of this stuff, I am THERE, pouncing like a hungry panther. A hungry cybernetic panther covered in swords that shoot lasers.

EXTRA AWESOME WEEKEND GIFT BONUS WHOA!: Listen to The Protomen. They've set the saga of Mega Man to a series of original epic rock songs with a revolutionary air. You've been doing a disservice to yourself if you haven't already listened.


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